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| Saturday, July 01, 2006 |
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Slim 7: Back Alley Action
By Image Mag Staff @ 12:00 PM :: 211 Views ::
0 Comments :: Nightlife
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wordplay: Orangepeelmoses.com
images: NevadaLee.com
Controversy is rarely bad for business. Donkey Den is a perfect example. Just last year, the @$$-friendly watering hole christened after a bestiality-boasting bar across the border in Tijuana was literally raking in the dough with a bulldozer, due largely to perpetual media panty-bunching over the supposed origin of its “pet name” as well as actual picketing protestors on special occasions. Pure marketing strategy genius, if you ask me. After all, self-proclaimed “Antichrist Superstar” Marilyn Manson used to draw bible thumpers out of the woodwork at the mile height of his popularity heyday. LoDo’s newest uber-hipster lush magnet Slim 7, ganking the numerical portion of its handle from the number of supposedly lethal sins (certainly a surefire hot button topic in religious circles), would seem poised to usurp the burrow’s throne…that is, if the thumpers in question could only sniff it out.
Having committed every single one of the seven supposedly cardinal vices at one point or another, eye think eye can safely say they’re nowhere near fatal. This story alone should serve as proof (mmmm...wordplay pudding). Regardless of whether some sixth century saint swore my fate would include suffering first degree burns for eternity (as penance for my “missteps”), eye am hardly shaking in my shoes. Mere scare tactics. Nobody’s perfect. Even Einstein had brain farts. Fairly confident Jesus still loves me. Also fairly confident Jesus, being the wino that he was, would absolutely love Slim 7’s sin-themed cocktail menu. Jesus, if you’re out there, consider this your invitation (Mapquest.com for driving directions). Lust (vodka, pomegranate liqueur, Couintreau, fresh OJ, and champagne, garnished with orange and a cherry) will be waiting for you.
Captain Obvious says high traffic visibility is not an attribute that Slim 7 has going for it. Tucked away in an alley just West of Larimer Square, its slightly off-the-beaten-path inconspicuousness is 100% intentional, according to Bill Ward, one of Slim’s umpteen partners. Considering the in-crowd clout and connections out the yin-yang in their collective corner, high traffic visibility just might be wholly unnecessary. Profit is still possible (greed, however, is a no-no, albeit a delicious little caramel appletini of a no-no). Secret handshake chic is an attribute that plenty of VIP and bottle service clientele will happily fork out a pretty penny for. In fact, Slim 7’s partners are so confident of that fact that they’ve gone through the rigmarole of installing an exclusive elevator entrance especially for the big spenders (Steven Tyler sold separately). And bending over b@$$-ackwards to satisfy their every whim is apparently top priority.
Thou shalt sin, and thou shalt like it :)
alleyway West of Larimer Square
Slim7.com |
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